I am a loser, strictly speaking.

I lose things. Often. 

Ok, so maybe I’m just a misplacer. But why not just face the truth?

I am a loser.

I am absentminded. I set things down without thinking. I put things in places they should not go. I cannot find things even when, sometimes, they are in my pocket. Or my hand. 

Last week I lost a nice pair of sunglasses. They were resting on my hat, on my head. Then they were gone. 

I could not find them in my car. I could not find them in my room. I could not find them in the store. I could not find them anymore.

I’m pretty sure they fell off my head into the trash bag I emptied my mom’s cat’s kitty litter into. 

At that point, really, even if I pulled them out, they were probably goners. Scratches, smells, memories.

Sometimes, though, I find things that I lost. Which should not really be a thrill, finding something you set down, but I assure you, it is.

And there are these magic minutes where, once you start finding things, you find several things. 

On Friday, getting ready for a trip to the beach, Wendy found an AirPod she had lost several months ago. 

Within a minute I found a heart rate monitor I’d lost three months ago. Then three minutes later I found a puffer vest I’d lost in February. 

And that moment of discovery, that’s special. The endorphin-loaded statement, “Look what I found!” alters not just that few seconds, but the rest of the day, the rest of the week, and sometimes the rest of your life.

Because we find things all the time that we actually haven’t lost. 

When Wendy and I found each other over thirty years ago at a summer camp in Vermont, I could not eat for two days. My hands shook. A wart I’d had on the bottom of my right heel for several years went away. Just like that.

Everything that matters to me shifted in that moment–my children, my career choices, my mental health and physical health, the close group of friends that I have.

And although sometimes I lose sight of that discovery, that all-encompasing, life-changing moment that led to so many more moments, I also keep finding it.

With the same sense of awe. With the same overwhelming gratitude.

So, I’m ok being a loser, as long as I continue to be a finder.

Hopefully you are a loser too. Hopefully you find things that change your life. Hopefully you can forgive yourself for making the mistake of being absent-minded or not so careful or in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Hopefully you can allow yourself to be human.

Here’s to losing! And here’s to finding!

And when you’ve lost your way, when you seem to have lost yourself, here’s to finding yourself again. Over and over. 

Or maybe just finding a puffer vest. Sometimes that’s good enough, the reminder that there is much more out there to find.

And the chance to shout, at the top of your voice, “Look what I found!”