Four weeks ago I signed up for eight half hour sessions with a personal trainer. It was a moment for me, a corner turned, a decision to commit to taking care of myself, of slowing down aging, and, I must admit, a recognition that I cannot just “get into shape” by running and biking a few times a week.

A year ago I ran a triathlon with my son, Jack. I loved the entire process, especially the discovery that I am terrified of swimming in open water. 

Why would I love that? Because it is something very concrete that I can overcome. It is a fear more than a fitness problem, but it is also one that can be solved through swimming more and mindfulness training.

I am running another triathlon in May, this time with my wife Wendy who will be completing an aquabike, the oddly-named version of a triathlon where you do everything but run. You’d think it would be called a biathlon or a duathlon, but both those names were taken. 

I get a triathlon magazine four times a year now and I find it inspirational. This is something I can do, to both compete against myself and my age group. 

Twice a week now I meet with my trainer Sam and she shows me all the ways that I am not as strong as I thought I was.

The most prominent way that I needed help is with my balance and the discrepancy between my left leg and right leg strength. Twenty years ago I snapped my Achilles tendon in half. I thought that incident was well in the past, but clearly it is not. There is a big difference not just in the appearance of my two legs, especially my calves, but in my balance and power.

For instance, I cannot lift myself off the ground with my right calf, though this is easy with my left. I had no idea. This means that I am certainly compensating as I run and bike.

In addition, because I am doing the exercises slowly and carefully, I hit a wall at even lighter weights with about ten reps or so. Ten slow pushups with shoulder rolls in the up position killed me yesterday, and I can do thirty without any problem when I clip them off quickly.

I see this in two ways. One, that I am getting older and I haven’t been doing any measurable strength training. Two, that I was avoiding admitting this fact to myself, continuing in my mind to remember the fit me of my youth when I ran marathons and biked across the United States.

My son Jack introduced me to a cycling podcast where coaches discuss training techniques with each other. I listen on my long runs. This past week they talked about nutrition and the need for athletes that are training to eat at least 1.4 grams of carbs and 1.2 grams of fat for every kilogram of body weight.

I wasn’t even close. 

That’s all changing now. I’m hitting those numbers with protein drinks and better meal planning. I’m sore in ways I haven’t been sore for years. I’m stretching and meditating, swimming, running and biking at least twice a week each. 

And I’m loving it. 

I’m so excited for the triathlon, and all of the other ones I’m going to do afterward. We only get a little time on this earth with our precious bodies. I’m determined to make it last as long as I can.